Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year


Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Hmmm, I just looked back at that post and laughed a little. It wasn't meant to be some 'OMG' kind of thing for anyone...but for me it was.

See, I kind of fell head-over-heels for a guy I worked with when I was about 16. He was 36 year's old. Big mistake right from the start.

Nothing happened between us...I mean really, what could or would have happened? The lad was nearly 40 and I had only just entered my teens. What - could he have taken me out for ice-cream? Or could I have waited outside while he threw back a few schooners with the boys?

And, you'd think this whole 'idea' that men just want young women would in turn work in my favour...well, thankfully it didn't. I say thankfully because looking back at my 16 year old self, I know I was no-where near ready for a relationship/commitment or anything else that didn't involve crime novels (here's to you Cornwell for filling my tender mind with crime... I'll love you forever more).

Now I'm a 22 year-old woman. Oh God...I'm not a girl I'm a WOMAN. Even saying that sounds so 'official' and even a little frightening. And for the last 5 years I've measured every single man I've met up to this guy I fell for. No-one measured up to him. And you know why? Because I had invented what I thought he was like. I didn't know him that well - I just worked with him, saw him every day etc. But in my mind I thought up ways he would behave, things he would say, his likes/dislikes etc. I built my own perfect man with him as my template.

He has a girlfriend now - I'm not sure about that other 4 year gap, I heard he was a bit of a Lothario and has women come in and out of his life so I assumed he would have had someone...just not 'the one'. That said I don't think this girl is the one, who knows, maybe she is. Point being, anything I felt for him has disappeared. I'd like to think it's maturity. I'd like to believe I've grown up, I've changed my mind...and the person I am now, doesn't need to same person I needed at 16.

So there it is. One sleep to go until 2009 come rolling on in and I've discarded an old-love that I had let cling onto me for years and years.
Truth be told, there is some part of me that will still hold a special memory of him (or the 'him' I created), primarily because it represents the most perfect unrecognised love.

Happy Pre-New Year :)


Monday, December 29, 2008

update - update - update - update - update - update - update - update -

I've fallen out of love with a man I've been infatuated with since I was 16.

More to come...

Sunday, December 28, 2008


Zing, zing, zing.
It's been the oddest week. It's Sunday, but feels like Friday. You know when that happens, and you feel all out-of-sync and then your week turns into one big snowball of days?
Plus, the week will turn into a brand New Year mid-way through, so you cant understand why I feel so odd.

I've taken to immersing myself in Monty Python and lots of other silly things. I'm a big Python fan, I love the lads and I think their humour is pure genius. I know it's not funny to everyone (my mum doesn't like them at all), but, i find the absurdity and odd nature of their skits put me in a different mind-set. And that's what I love about them. I think that should be the aim of anyone who is creating; be it art, skits, music etc. You want your audience to be transported into a different place, taken out of reality and thrown somewhere else.

Philosophers Football

I have to say though, I used to think Michael Palin was by far the most attractive Python boy, BUT, I've taken quite a liking to Terry Jones recently. That's not to say I think Jones is the funniest, oh no, that honour goes to Cleese, Chapman and Palin ( can't pick, sorry ), but looks wise? Yeah, Jones wins that...even dressed as a woman which he seems to have a penchant for.

Fish Slapping Dance

So, what I want to know is, is the Monty Python love a purely British/Australian thing, or do other people 'get it' or 'get them' ?.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

60's baby!

Right now I am totally into and in love with the 60's era. I love the straight cut clothes, the short hair cuts, the androgyny, the clean but eccentric make-up. I love, love, LOVE it all. So, in honour of my new found worship - I have dedicated a post to help anyone else who wishes to join me on my brigade to re-visit the era style blessed.

  • Here's a wonderful run-down of the tragic life of 60's icon, Edie Segwick's.

  • Eye make-up from the 60's is one of the most quintessential elements of the whole mod get-up. It's dark, lots of mascara, liner,'s all big, black and bold. If you need a lesson in how to paint some 60's magic on your blinkers, check out this site.
  • If you wanna see a video outlining a step-by-step process, check this out.
  • OH.MY.GOD...ModCloth has the best (and I'm not exaggerating here), they have the bestest clothes if you want to transform yourself into Edie Sedgwick or any other 60's chanteuse. The prices are really reasonable, some of their is one-of-a-kind so you know you won't catch anyone else wearing what you've got, and the people that run it are a nice bunch of folks. What are you waiting for? Click, click, CLICK!
  • This site has everything you need to know about the decade (pity about it being littered with gif's from 98).

  • And how could I forget that other mod-icon... TWIGGY! It's funny, because in all her old 60's modelling shots she never smiled. Not that it bothered me, I think the whole waif, lost child look totally added to her charm. But not, she has completely changed and smiles and smiles and smiles.

Check out this video dedicated to living life in the mod-era

Monday, December 22, 2008


Well, well, well. Oh my lord, I'm in the editing chair and I'm in control of news bulletins all night. Is that a good thing? Well, it's not so bad, considering I'm chewing my nails down to nothing stressting over lead stories and audio.

Although, it is nice to be sitting here alone in the news room, doing my own little merry thing and feeling like I have control...the airwaves are mine...for approximately 6.05 minutes.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

posting in...

So, so, so my darlings. I have been absent from the internet for what feels like forever!
Getting knee deep in my new job and with my ISP deciding to shut its door without letting its customers know...yeah, all those things make a recipe for Internet activity impossible!

Not much to update, really though. It reminds me of those times you see people you haven't seen for years and when you two really start talking you both end up saying 'yeah...not much has really changed'.

Although, tonight I'm on my own at work. Edititng, writing and reading the news. Dear God, I'm petrified, excited and positively wrapped that I've been given the chance to do it.

Now that my computer is working...and I've switched ISP's (damn you chilli), updates will be more frequent.

Thursday, December 11, 2008


I read Jack now every day
he sings me my lullabies
and helps me dream sweet dreams
of writing great novels
and taking long trips to the middle of nowhere
he makes me realise that it's all just make believe
isn't it?

"They danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

late shifting,bored

So, I ended up having one of those days yesterday where everything went wrong. One bad thing after another. Whats funny is, is that once two bad things in a row have happened, you almost expect more bad thing to, you kind of jinx yourself.

That said...I had some chocolate on me that I'd bought for my dad and because I was feeling so blue, I opened it, ate some, then wrapped it all back together. I don't think he'd realise though (let's hope not).

Oooo, I also have a new literary love hero: Jack Kerouac. I started reading his masterpiece 'On the Road' yesterday, and I'm quite certain it's going to be fighting it out with 'In cold blood' and 'Catcher in the rye' for the best book's I've ever read award.

Plus, ever wonder what it's like to work behind the scenes at a radio show? Well, take a look:

For some reason someone felt it was important to let others know this. I thought it was funny.

The screen. You write callers names on there, click the 'update studio' button and the announcer has their names.

Oh My God, the phones did not stop.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Well, it's been one of those mish-mash weeks. You know the kind - the ones where the days are all mixed you (you think it's Friday, it's really only Tuesday), you feel tired, restless and just want the week to end.

I'm actually having a ball at work - in that I'm writing copy faster, writing more interesting intro's and I think the main point it, getting more confident about my writing.
I'm curious, is this a general path most new employees take?

Do we all kind of go into a new place feeling like we really don't belong there/can't believe we were hired because we secretly know just how bad we are?
Then we kind go on our merry way, but never quite get into the groove of things because we're too busy critiquing ourselves?

Then, suddenly, it's as if you have a epiphany, you arrive and you do your job and for once, you walk away genuinely pleased. It's a rare, wonderful feeling. One that you try to hold on to and revisit whenever you feel your confidence crumbling.
Then, before you know it, you're not the new kid're 'one of the family'. It all happened so fast!

So, do you guys go through that path of work self doubt? Or, do you start a new job totally confident and wanting to kick ass (I know my neighbour I'm sure more people do!)

Anyway, I'm off to meet an old friend before work. Have a wonderful day, wherever you are :)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

hope for christmas

First, I have to totally credit Gala with this idea. She is like the goddess of creativity!

I was walking through a mega-cheap store today... and saw this decoration. It was a silver 'HOPE' chirstmas tree decoration, and I had to have it. At $3, how could I NOT buy it!
So, I came home, got out my red nail polish and red glitter, painted it, dusted glitter over it and slid it through a spare gold chain. Voila!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

louise hay

Before The Secret, Louise Hay (founder of Hay House Publishing), taught us about the power of the universe, and how to love ourselves...

the dream keepers

'Every day from nine to five I sit at my desk facing the door of the office and type up other peoples dreams (...) from where I sit, I figure the world is run by one thing and one thing only. Panic with a dog-face, devil face, hag-face, whore-face, panic in capital letters with no face at all - it's the same Johnny Panic, awake or asleep.'

'There isn't a dream I've typed up in our record books that I dont know by heart. Theres insn't a dream I havn't copied out at home into Johnny Panic's Bible of Dreams.
This is my real calling'
-Sylvia Plath, 1932 – 1963

Friday, December 5, 2008

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Photos by +Maco+

The pain does not decrease,
You just becomes used to the feelings.
It's etched into you,
You just go through the motions.

Tomorrow does not matter.
Infact - tomorrow may not even come.
Tomorrow, today, does not even exist.
So, do not worry about what is not real,
and do not be afraid to be alone.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I AM....

In love with Alex Zane. Sigh, feast your eyes and watch him ruin a news broadcast. So hot.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

what love

I think, we need to take a little bit of a closer look at what love is.
Novelists wrote about it, poets live for it, and the average person yearns for it.
But is it just a misguided notion? Do we all want romantic love? Or, do we feel we're simply supposed to want it, because everybody else does?

Mary Evens doesn't believe in love at all. My English literature professor wrote a review on her amazing book, 'Love; an unromantic discussion'. Here's one of the things she said:

'Ideas of romantic love are continually reproduced in art, literature, and media, forming part of our larger cultural imagination. In romantic love we enter the world of fantasy, and in a sense, take flight from reality. Entering into this fantasy, this play of romantic love, has all kinds of personal and social consequences. One might ask: is romantic love a desirable deception? Sociologist Mary Evans thinks not. In Love: An Unromantic Discussion, she urges us—women in particular—to abandon romantic love. It is individualistic. Its expectations are too high. It is demanding. It’s commodified love. It is a myth. It’s bound to fail. For women, it is a trap.'

-Deborah Pike

A woman, who doesn't subscribe to pre-conceived ideas of love? Scandal!
She's had her heart broken, that must be it. That's what we all think right? It seems inconceivable that a woman could arrive at this belief. Women are, after all, only here to serve men.
Last night while I slaved away behind a news desk for a late night radio show, I started flipping through my thesaurus (otherwise known as my bible), and decided to look up love.

The results were quite eye-opening:
Love: worship, adoration, devotion

It's all about loosing yourself isn't it?
Forgetting yourself as you simply melt into someone else's character,
someones else's likes, dislike's.
How can you remember yourself,
When you exist for someone else?
You don't matter,
You don't even care about mattering,
You matter because you are wanted.

Monday, December 1, 2008

smily skies

The sky is happy to see you!

So, I'm reading, and it turns out that yesterday, the night sky was smiling down on us here in Australia...but, it appeared to be frowning on our friends in the U.S.
It's all to do with the shape of the moon, Jupiter and Venus being seen in the stunning night sky.
I think this is the cutest thing I've seen all day.

Melbourne, Australia

New York City, America

Sunday, November 30, 2008

get what you want

While I wait patiently for my conscience to make a decision ( I don't want to feel bad you know), I'm going to try and fix a small problem. See...I want someone or something I can't have. And, it's killing me a little bit. No, no, I'm not going all emo//sad here. I'm just sayin.
There's plenty of times when you want something/one you can't have and it's all consuming. More so, because the challenge to get that thing is even greater.

So, if you're going through the same emotional roller coaster that I am, lets take comfort in these links together:

  • A few tips from the queen of self-betterment, OPRAH
  • This article is written by lifestyle coach Aymen Fares. It's nice and simple.
  • How to really get what you want (not sure why the really is in the title, but, there you go)
  • Get what you want from ANYONE. I like this blog :p

Oh, and listen to this while you search. Hehe.

what to do? I need some opinions before I decide to post what I'm thinking of posting.
I had a rather weird/stalkerish email from a guy I to read?

Saturday, November 29, 2008

letters to a young poet

Today I went on a book shopping spree. I got all these books I had been dying to get for the past two weeks (I spend all my money on books...its terrible) and stocked up!!!
One of the books I got was 'Letters to a young poet' by Rainer Maria Rilke. I studied a few of the letter in my poetry class - and they changed my life. If you're a writer, you need to read this. You really, really do. I consdier Rilke a kind of a spiritual teacher now, I know every person who has read them claims the letters speak 'just to you', and they really do. They will change you life. No doubt about it.

'Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write'
-Letters to a young poet, Rainer Maria Rilke

kenny vs spenny

Sad? This may be incredibly silly...but I promise, you will laugh :)
If not, you can slap me.

Also...I totally have a crush on Kenny. Call me weird or whatever.

writing tips

Do you want to be a writer?
Or, do you simply love writing?
Either way, you need to read these Writing Tips.
They're amazing, practical, clear and inspirational.

Friday, November 28, 2008

la marseillaise

I wish I were French...alas...

Thursday, November 27, 2008



We live, and we die
like the stars,
nothing more.

We flicker in moments
when life can be felt
but for most
stare out dumbly
while we wait
and we wait.

10 thousands years to make a spark alight
in a licorish black sky
oh the patience
oh the fight

Children dream of the stars
and someday, they hope,
to maybe catch that twinkle,
and with eyes squeezed tight
and lips pursed with might
make a wish for their life,
or for candy,
or for dreams.

Not yet abused, by this cynical joke,
It seems possible still,
to touch the lights of the night.
My heart skips a beat,
maybe two,
When those memories of youth
do filter through

But, you learn to block,
and to stop,
and to freeze,
Those damaging thoughts of childhood
oh how they tease, and they tease.

Stars - Les Miserables

Go to HidenSeek's etsy page right now to find more of these amazing prints.

young people f***ing

I'm totally going to see this tomorrow night.
It's an intimate screening, held at a pole dancing studio.
How awesome does this film look!

Monday, November 24, 2008




Lovers of tattoo's, heed this call.
I'm thinking of getting another tattoo (I have a bow on my left wrist).
I would like to get another one on my right wrist, and I'm possibly, considering getting the word 'hope' written.

And honour of my little plan, here are some lines from one of my favourite movies, The Shawshank Redemption. I think if any movie out the encapsulates hope, it's this one.

Red: [narrating] I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?

Red: I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here.

Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.

Red: Forget?

Andy Dufresne: Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.

Red: What're you talking about?

Andy Dufresne: Hope.

Andy Dufresne: [in letter to Red] Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

wombats bleed love

You've heard the song Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis right?
Well, The Wombats have covered it...and it's positively dandy.

baby names

I've been thinking about kids names. I have no idea why though, it's not as if the prospect is an immediate one. However, I do find it an intriguingly, entertaining exercise.
That said, I will now share with you a few names I'm quite keen poor, poor children.


  • Ariel (not sure why, I just love the name. But, since I became a huge fan of Sylvia Plath, it takes up an ever bigger place in my heart)

  • Eskandar (this is a new favourite, and I just came upon it when I looked at the authors name on my book of quotes)


  • Aida (I think it's strong, pretty, and the nick-name can be Edie, which is also tres-stunning)

  • Aurora (Because my mum wanted to call me this)

Wow, huh...I'm going for alot of the 'A' names huh?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

paranoid neurotic

You know what I just realised?
I'm a total paranoid neurotic.

Just thought I'd share that with you all.

ad music

Ad's arn't the kind of place you'd expect to discover awesome, new music.
But recently, alot of great, up and coming songs and starts are being used on ad's (which is good for us).
I thought I'd show you a few of my favourite music from ads... paired with the original singer's video (of course).
Enjoy :)

Sony Bravia Commercial

Jose Gonzalez 'Heartbeats'

IPOD (I know theres heaps of songs I could use, but this is my favourite)

Ceasars 'Jerk it out'

Surf Duvet

Lisa Mitchell 'Neopolitan Dreams'

Thursday, November 20, 2008

boring post

Sorry...this will be the most boring post ever.
I've been sick as a dog for the past two days.
Vomiting like crazy.
Dizzy like crazy.
And now I feel guilty...that I'm kind of starting to dislike my job.

Anyway, have to start at 4am tomorrow...that means waking up at like...3am.
Is that even legal?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008